Falling in love with baby 2

Source: NHS

The day I had Master R was one of the happiest and yet most traumatic days of my life (he was admitted to ICU, but that's another blog post...). From the moment I discovered I was pregnant I was in love with this mystery being growing inside me. I sang to him, rubbed my stomach and reclined on the sofa dreaming of his future. Months of trying to get pregnant had worked and now I had fulfilled my destiny. I worked from home and had the luxury of this time to ponder my baby developing inside.

As the months have gone by the love I feel for Master R is indescribable, as most mothers understand. It grows stronger and stronger as time goes by and I just want to protect him before all else (sorry Mr M).

Now baby 2 is growing inside of me. But this time it's different. I don't have time to lie on the sofa rubbing my belly and dreaming of his/her future. I don't have time to sing to the fetus while having a shower (I'm lucky to get a shower). My time is spent bowing to the needs of Master R while attempting to keep a young business on track.

Now it's not that I don't want baby 2. Of course I do! I was so thrilled when I discovered I was pregnant and feel blessed that pregnancy number 2 came easily to me after my struggle with number 1. It's a combination of factors.

First I don't want my beautiful Master R to miss out on anything by having a sibling so close. I'm also feeling apprehensive about dealing with two under 18mths. But as I ponder this issue during the wee hours of morning when I can't sleep, a little too often, I realise that there is one main factor - I don't have time!

When baby two comes late in August I know that I'll feel overwhelming love for him or her just as I did for Master R. I know I'll love both babies equally and will attempt to give them equal attention, or attention as required. But right now I just don't have the time to think about it so I'll take it as it comes.