Source: About.comAsk any new mum and the biggest concerns are going to be feeding and sleep - both their own and their babies. I read so many books on sleep and had formed a very strong feeling against any form of sleep training. I was definitely in the Dr Sears camp (cosleep until baby is ready to move into his own bed) rather than the Dr Cohen approach (at 8 weeks place baby in crib at 7pm, close the door and open it again at 7am). However all that changed with Master R was 7 months old.
I was going back to work on a 2 month contract with Goldman Sachs. The Sunday before I started I met with Mama V and complained that I didn't know how I was going to continue to cosleep with Master R, wake during the night for feeds and make a good impression at work. Mama V told me I was just going to have to use the cry it out method (CIO). She shared her experience and urged me to consider it. What sold me is that she said Master K was a much happier baby as a result often waking of a morning to sit in his crib playing happily with his toys - a stark contrast to Master R who awoke screaming most mornings still tired.
That night Mr M was travelling for work so I resolved myself to the task. After a bath and story we lay down together for a feed and then put him in his crib at 7pm. Prepared for the worst I was surprised when he only whimpered for 15 minutes before falling asleep. Shocked I waited for him to wake up. Finally at 10 he awoke crying but again he only cried for 10-15 minutes. He woke again at 11 and I thought this was going to continue all night. But once again after 15 minutes of crying he fell asleep again - for the rest of the night! The next night he only cried for a little while before sleeping the whole night and then every night since, except for a the odd night of course.
So now I'm a convert. I see anti-CIO parent's kids who still wake during the night at 4 years old and I'm so pleased that Mama V encouraged me to do it. Now however, it's Master T's turn. He's 5.5mths old - where has the time gone? It's not so easy. He feels like a little baby and seems to young to just cry. We've started CIO, a modified version of it anyway. He falls asleep during feeding and was waking again after 1-2 hours. But a week ago I started letting him cry. It hasn't been as quick as Master R, but so far it's working. Master T mostly sleeps through until 10:30-11pmish when I come into bed and wake him up. In the next couple of months I'll move him out of our bed and start working towards a full night of sleep. Two kids sleeping though the night, won't that be bliss!
What do you think? Did you or didn't you use CIO or a version of it?
Yes, we did it. Twice. Although it is tough to make the decision to actually do it, and it can be some of the hardest nights as a parent, once it is over (for some in 1 night for some 7 - most 3-) it is the best thing I have done for our family. My mom did it with me and I fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow (even before being a mom.) I also don't remember it and am a well adjusted person relatively speaking and have healthy relationships with my parents. I have heard some horror stories involving babies vomiting and not being able to soothe themselves but in general, it works. And if you wait too long it may not. I believe it is an important lesson to teach babies to self soothe. One of the huge lessons I am learning with the 2 is how different all kids are. Dorsey loved to sleep in the bed with us, Gunnar did not. It took Dorsey longer to sleep through, Gunnar was pretty easy. You have to make decisions based on your unique experience with your unique children combined with what you WANT to do and what you NEED to do for your family.
ReplyDeleteI've had a cold now for over 5.5 weeks. I'm exhausted and look it. Mater T has become more tedious with his night feeding and waking every 1-2 hours. Although I cosleep and just go back to sleep again, the past few months of interrupted sleep have had their toll.
ReplyDeleteLast night I made the decision to let Master T cry it out for the full night. I put him in our bed and we slept in the upstairs spare room. (I made the decision after I'd put him to bed.) I cried myself to sleep holding the baby monitor. I woke up every time he did, switch the monitor to mute. Mr M got sick of this at some time during the night and moved the monitor out of my reach. I could still hear him though.
It was terrible for both of us. For some reason I've found it so much harder than with Master R. Tonight Master T is sleeping in the cot for the first time ever. He stayed asleep when I transferred him into it so fingers crossed!
Meanwhile he's in our room while Mr M and I camp out in the spare room because the heating isn't working up there! The joys of big old English houses...
I feel your pain Mama N. We were just talking about this today. We were so lucky w/Master A and didn't have to deal w/this. Master L is reverting- up every 3-4 hours. He's 6 months - we know he can go longer. We may move Master A in our room to try it- but tonight we say we are going to try Ferberizing for the middle of the night feed. We'll see how it goes. I tried once before but couldn't listen to it and was too tired to deal. I'll be crying w/you from across the ocean.
ReplyDeleteLast night I had my first full night of sleep in nearly 10 months! I can't believe how good it felt. However I can't tell you how many times Master T woke up last night because I slept through and only woke at 5:20 to his cries. He was very hungry and I was very happy but felt guilty.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Mama N! And good job on Mr. M taking away that durn baby monitor from right next to your head! Welcome back to the world of the (mostly) clear-headed.
ReplyDelete